You Are My Plus One
by Caskettlove77
Summary: AU Ryan's Wedding. Being here in his arms, laughing with him she saw their situation with new eyes.
1. Chapter 1

Hi, I'm still fairly new to writing fics and figuring out how to post here. I love stories about other ways our beloved duo could have gotten together and always felt ripped off that we didn't get to see them at more of Ryan's wedding. Sorry if you are sick of wedding fics but read on if you love them too! I truly hope you enjoy it. I think it will be a two-shot.

Disclaimer: These are not my characters, only my own fictional story. Sorry for any errors, I have proofed as well as I could!

* * *

"Come on Beckett," Castle said with a drawn out whine as he rose from his chair. "You have avoided this long enough. It's time for me to show you my moves," he said with a wiggle of his eyebrows and smile that lit up his sapphire eyes.

"I wasn't avoiding you Castle, I was finishing my dinner. Anyways I don't think you'll be able to _handle_ my moves." she flirted back.

"Challenge accepted. You forget I have a Broadway actress as a mother. I spent too much of my youth backstage learning the choreography from all her plays. I can dance circles around you," he affirmed offering his hand to help her up from her chair. A true gentleman despite his playfulness.

He wiggled his hips side to side exaggeratedly as he walked backwards holding her hand and guiding her to the dance floor. She smiled at how carefree and silly he was. And wow, he sure does clean up nice, she noticed watching his body move.

They were having a great time together at Ryan and Jenny's wedding. When Alexis canceled as his date, Beckett suggested they be each other's plus one. He couldn't have been happier with the turn of events. She was slightly worried and ok maybe even jealous upon hearing the great qualities of the date he planned to bring to the wedding, until he revealed it was Alexis. It warmed her heart a little more each time she saw the way he adored his daughter.

On the dance floor he showed off in true Castle style, to the fast rhythm coming from the DJ's latest choice. There was salsa, which he was quite good at, hip hop, and a few songs they'd never heard before. Through them all though, he kept her close, rarely releasing her hand as they danced to the varying beats.

"Keep up Beckett," he teasingly chided her as he spun her out of his arms yet again. "OK, Castle I concede! You are a better dancer than me," she gasped. The dancing had turned into quite the workout, which she could handle, but he had the footwork down to a level that far surpassed hers. "Man, I'm going to need a drink soon," she shouted over the loud music. "Yes, the dance master wins another round!" He boasted as he twirled her in and out of his arms another time and threw her back in a dip that had them both laughing.

"Come on, over here," he said guiding her to a bar top table. "I'll go get us some drinks. Rest up, though because there's more dancing to be had!" He said walking away to get refreshments.

The dance floor was still full. Ryan's Irish family turned out to be a rowdy, fun-loving group which helped the atmosphere remain light and full of laughter. The ring bearer and flower girl ran in between the couples dancing in search of cake and many of bridesmaids and groomsmen had indeed paired up together.

Beckett spotted Lanie and Esposito quite cozy on the dance floor. Despite their worry over the need to each bring a date to the wedding, the two apparently ended up together anyway. There always seemed to be an attraction they were powerless against. She wondered why they kept on denying it. It was so obvious to everyone around that they wanted to be together.

Lanie caught her eye, smiled and came over to her.

"Hey girl, I see you've been heating up the dance floor with your writer boy tonight. Will you two be heating up the bedroom later?" She teased. She could always count on Lanie, to call things as she saw them.

"Lanie!" she said with exasperation, looking around to see if anyone had heard her, "you know we are just _friends_."

"Come on Kate, you two were looking more than friendly on the dance floor tonight. He hasn't taken his hands off of you all night. I'm surprised he has left you alone here for this long," she said.

"That is not true," Beckett countered but it made her pause and consider what Lanie had said. "Not to mention the way you two always are together, finishing each other's sentences, the way you look at each other, it's… I mean, we can all see you want to be together. Half the precinct thinks you've already hooked up."

That got a squint of her eyes and a scoff of denial from Kate. After a moment of reflection she shared,"I just don't want to mess this up. So maybe I do have feelings for him, OK?" she finally confessed. "But Lanie, after you, he is my best friend. He is an unorthodox partner, a non-paperwork doing partner," she added, "but he is mine and we make a great team. What if it doesn't work? What if I ruin this like I seem to ruin all my relationships?"

"You'll never know if you don't try. Kate," she continued, "you two have been _literally_ dancing around each other for years. You are finally both unattached. Maybe he's not your forever person, but if you don't find out soon, you might lose your chance. You could be missing out on something great. How long are you going to put off finding out?" Beckett pondered this as her friend continued, "He's changed since he met you, and I would bet he has changed because of you and _for_ you. I think he's just too worried how you'll react to risk making the first move."

This conversation closely mirrored an internal one she'd had more than once in the last few weeks. "If I didn't know better I'd say he sent you over here to intercede on his behalf," she said with a smirk. Lanie shared, "you know I'm only saying this because I care about you girl. You deserve to be happy for a change."

"I'll think about it Lanie," she said quickly as her eyes met Castle's as he emerged from the crowd with their drinks. "Think about what?" Castle said as he leaned in beside her. "Oh, nothing, just girl talk," she replied trying not to give away that he had been the topic of their conversation. "Nice dance moves out there, Castle," Lanie said. "Keeping Kate on her toes I see," she couldn't help but try and push them in the right direction. "You two look good out there together." "Thanks, Lanie," Castle replied with a little suspicion. Kate glared at her friend as she quickly excused herself to find Javier.

"Can I just say that I am so glad you are my plus one," he said addressing Kate. "The single women at the bar basically attacked me when they saw me coming. I thought you were going to have to call in the swat team to extract me. Jenny's sorority sisters are something else!" He continued with "I'll have you know that my butt was groped for your drink Beckett," he said with a slight twinkle in his eye. "Oh, you poor thing, however will you recover?" she bantered back at him, full of sass. "Well, you drink up because you are going to make it up to me on the dance floor. Your plus one duties continue," he said.

He stopped with his glass mid-air to watch her. Appraising her lips and delicate neck as she swallowed the rest of her drink. She caught him staring; he didn't look away and her heart sped up. In an attempt to distract from it, she took his hand and said, "Let's go." He downed his drink and let her lead him out to dance. He followed close behind her, _very close_. His chest brushed up against her back as she walked and it did nothing to slow her heart.

Once again on the dance floor his eyes held her gaze as Michael Buble's song "Everything" filled the air. His playfulness had returned and he smiled and spun her into him again. She couldn't help but notice the song was sweet and upbeat and apparently one that Castle knew. She wondered if it was by his choice or Alexis' that he knew the words. He sang to her a few lines as they swayed, comfortable with each other.

" _You're a falling star, you're the getaway car_

 _You're the line in the sand when I go too far_ ," he sang with a laugh that she reciprocated. He should sing more often, she thought, enjoying the fullness of his voice. The voice that made her more aware of her body's response to him. Especially tonight.

" _And you play it coy, but it's kinda cute_

 _When you smile at me you know exactly what you do_

 _Baby, don't pretend that you don't know it's true_

 _Cause you can see it when I look at you_ ," he continued and her eyes were glued to his.

He continued with the line that soon followed, making sure he had her full attention.

" _You're every line, you're every word, you're everything_."

" _Every line, every word, you're everything,"_ echoed in her ears. Coming from a writer, her writer, the meaning was not lost on her.

As the song continued she reflected on him, their relationship, where they were headed. All the reasons she had cryptically told him existed that day on the swings seemed so far away now. Meeting with Dr. Burke these last months had helped her deal with the trauma from the shooting and she learned to control the symptoms of having PTSD. The things she was healing from were real, but Castle had dealt with trauma too. He watched the woman he loves almost die in that ambulance.

Castle was nothing but supportive, patient and self-sacrificing for her. Maybe she needed to let him in and give herself to him. Maybe they could give each other what they needed. Is this why her relationships never lasted? She didn't let them in and didn't give enough of herself? She would risk her life for him, just as he had proven he would for her. She cares for him so much, and is maybe even in love with him. _Love_. She has to tell him that she remembers. She remembers everything from the shooting. _I hope he will understand_ , she thought.

Being here in his arms, laughing with him she saw their situation with new eyes. New hope grew inside of her that they could figure things out together. They could solve her mom's case together as partners and as a couple. They were already working to solve it together. Why not go all in?

The DJ announced that he would be slowing things down and beautiful piano music filled their ears. Suddenly feeling exposed and flustered at her internal trail of thought she started to backpedal and she said, "Maybe we should get some cake?"

"One more Kate? Please?" he asked with a tone that was gentle and that matched the softer music. Playful Castle was gone and she felt him gaze at her intensely. Did he know she was suddenly nervous? Was he nervous too? Could he tell that she had been thinking of him, of them? Or was she effective at hiding the flutters she now felt in her stomach?

Despite her nerves, she nodded in agreement to the dance. _Give it a chance Kate, this could be great. Dive in with him_ , she thought. Her self-talk did nothing though to stop her pulse from drumming through her veins.

Several guests took the romantic music as an opportunity to step aside and sit or get a drink. Kate glanced over his shoulder and saw the bride and groom wore matching infectious smiles. Love radiated off of their faces. Ryan looked at Jenny with such adoration. Kate could feel something tug at her heart seeing them so happy together.

The lights appeared to dim and she felt Castle's full attention on her. It was as if there was no one else on the dance floor. Castle put an arm around her waist and she brought one of hers to rest on his shoulder. He reached for her other hand to hold in his. Looking deep into her eyes, he pulled her closer to him. A classic, "To Make You Feel My Love" redone by Adele filled the air. Adele, she thought, of course it was. It seemed even the DJ was conspiring to get them together.

 _When the rain is blowing in your face_

 _And the whole world is on your case_

 _I could offer you a warm embrace_

 _To make you feel my love_

She could feel his heartbeat speed up within his chest as they swayed together. She wondered if her own pulse betrayed her facade to him. But then, did she want conceal her feelings any longer? Kate was still not sure she wouldn't mess this up, but now, in his embrace, it felt so right.

 _When the evening shadows and the stars appear_

 _And there is no one there to dry your tears_

 _I could hold you for a million years_

 _To make you feel my love_

As they moved in harmony, Castle splayed his hand wide on her back and tenderly rubbed his thumb side to side. Kate took her hand out of his and a momentary flash of uncertainty shone on his face. It quickly turned to awe as she moved it to join her other hand around his neck. She pulled him closer and willed his body to be flush with hers. Hips touching and feet intermingled on the dance floor. He drew in a deep breath. Then he wrapped his abandoned hand around her side to meet his other in the soft curve at bottom of her spine.

 _I know you haven't made your mind up yet_

 _But I would never do you wrong_

 _I've known it from the moment that we met_

 _No doubt in my mind where you belong_

As violin music filled their senses, she toyed with the soft hairs at the bottom of his neck. He let out a soft moan and bent down slightly to bring his cheek to meet hers. She nuzzled gently against him, felt the start of stubble forming and found herself breathing him in. He smelled of the perfect mix of cologne and coffee. It was so _him_.

"Kate…" he let fall from his lips, nearly breathless as the song continued. She closed her eyes and enjoyed his presence. No one and nothing else crossed her mind.

 _I could make you happy_

 _Make your dreams come true_

 _Nothing that I wouldn't do_

 _Go to the ends_

 _Of the Earth for you_

 _To make you feel my love_

As the song wound down, she stayed close, but leaned her head back just enough for her eyes to take in his face, his dark hair. She took in his big, deep blue eyes, and noticed their sincere appraisal of hers. His hands began to slowly stroke up and down her back. She could tell he didn't want to part from her.

Finally deciding what she wanted she moved one hand lower to caress his jaw. She glanced to his lips before lifting up on her toes to brush her mouth against his. If he knew the kiss was coming he didn't let on. Castle was still, as if in shock. It only lasted a moment before she pulled back and spoke, her eyes closed as if to gather strength. "Rick, do you want this? Me, do you want this with me?" she asked in an uncharacteristically shy voice.


	2. Chapter 2

_A reminder where we left off:_

Finally deciding what she wanted she moved one hand lower to caress his jaw. She glanced to his lips before lifting up on her toes to brush her mouth against his. If he knew the kiss was coming he didn't let on. Castle was still, as if in shock. It only lasted a moment before she pulled back and spoke, her eyes closed as if to gather strength. "Rick, do you want this? Me, do you want this with me?" she asked in an uncharacteristically shy voice.

* * *

"Kate," he said waiting to continue until she opened her eyes so he could search them, "there is nothing that I want more." She let out a deep breath she hadn't been aware she was holding.

His lips still tingled from her touch as he continued, "but, I-um..." he said slowly, "are you sure? I mean, are you ready? What about your wall?" he asked tentatively. He didn't want to break the spell of the moment, but needed to know her true feelings. "I can wait Kate." His words were so heartfelt when he spoke, "just knowing you want this someday is enough for now. I want to make sure you'll really be in this with me."

It was hard to say but true. He had wanted this moment to come for so long, but he cared for her, _loved_ her, too much to let this become a mistake. He struggled against his intense desire to grab her and kiss her back, to kiss her deeply, as he awaited her reply.

Remaining in their embrace she said, "Castle, I..." she paused to try and steady her voice, "I'm afraid I might mess this up, but I want to try if you're willing to. I want to be with you. I don't want to wait any more." Castle had always admired her beauty, inside and out, but she had never been more radiant than she was in that moment.

"Kate, you won't mess this up, I won't let you. I'll be with you whatever you need. I'm here," he replied.

No longer able to refrain himself, he took her face in his hands, drew her lips to him and kissed her. He poured out his emotion, his desire for her into her mouth and it took her breath away. She gave back to him, wanting him to feel that she was with him too, she was in this. She moaned and granted his demanding tongue entrance. Hearing the delight he caused only added fuel to the fire; it spurred him on. Just as warmth spread throughout her body, she was drawn out of their haze.

"Whooo Hooo!" "Yeah, way to go!" mixed with "about time guys!" and "way to go Beckett!" filled the room and they were reminded that their intimate moment was taking place in a very public location.

The reception was full of people who would tease them mercilessly for days to come. She was sure she saw Lanie give her two thumbs up from the side of the room. Beckett buried her face in his neck as she blushed bright red. Even in her embarrassment the happiness she felt from finally revealing her feelings and kissing him remained. Castle being well, _Castle_ , gave her a squeeze and then encouraged her out of her hiding to face the crowd with him.

"Thank you, thank you! Thank you very much" he shouted, taking her hand coaxing her into a traditional curtain call bow. This spurred the room on with shouts of "Encore! Encore!"

"I think we'll leave the rest of the kissing to the bride and groom,." He quickly grabbed an abandoned drink off a nearby table and clinked the side with a spoon. The ting, ting, ting of the glass effectively turned the attention from them to Jenny and Ryan who gave a great performance of their own and applause filled the room.

"Come on," he said ducking and taking her hand. They weaved in and out of the crowd until they made it to a side door that opened to the lobby of the hotel. He turned to her after stopping in a quiet alcove by a sofa. "Only with you Castle," she said referring to the grand drama that just surrounded their first real kiss.

He worried when he heard the shouts that she would spook or be upset by the intrusion that dissolved their special moment. When he saw her though, she was still smiling and had a beautiful flush to her cheeks. He leaned forward, hand running through her hair as he brought her lips to his and kissed her again, because now he could.

"Do you want to get out of here?" he asked, forehead pressed against hers.

"Yes-please!" she replied quickly, giving him a peck on the lips before heading to the door.

A town car was waiting outside for them. He opened the door for her and helped her in before walking to the other side.

"Um, where would you like to go?" Now it was his turn to be shy.

"Let's go to my place."

"Good choice," he said with a nod and gave the driver her address.

"I think it would be good for us to talk. Maybe I'll make us some coffee…" she said feeling him out.

"Yeah, sure, no, yes. I mean-talking is good. Yes. We should talk," it sounded like he was trying to convince himself. Or, calm down from the rush of emotion and physical longing he felt for her. Now that he had a taste of her, he wanted more. It didn't help that she was sitting so close to him on the back seat. Their thighs were pressed together, legs bare from the way her skirt inched up when she sat. They were silent as the car commenced the trip to her home.

It didn't take long for Castle to reach down and intertwine her fingers with his and to rest them on his lap. Her hazel eyes met his and she bit the side of her lip as a smile threatened to break through.

"Kate, if you keep looking at me like that we won't make it to the talking part. I'm trying hard to behave myself here," he said admirably. She blushed and looked down to their hands. Causing a curtain of auburn hair to fall free from behind her ear and cover the side of her face. She composed herself and then sat back again. She was trying to behave herself too.

He was quick to open her door when they arrived at her apartment. He told the driver he would call when he needed his return ride home, not wanting to assume that he would be spending the night, despite what he hoped for. He knew Alexis would be out late, but she was with his mother and would get home safely. When he checked in with her earlier in the evening it sounded like she was having the time of her life.

They had just made it past the locked entry door and into the elevator when she couldn't wait any more. As the doors closed, she turned to him, grabbed the lapels of his tux and pulled him to her. Lips frantic and warm on his. She moved her hands into his silky hair. His arms surrounded her waist as he brought her impossibly close to his body. Her breasts pushed against his chest. She curled her leg up and around one of his. He tingled everywhere as blood raced wildly through his veins.

They were breathless when they parted, noticing that the elevator door had opened to her floor. Sweet Mrs. Nelson from down the hall stared back at them holding the leash to her yorkshire terrier who needed a late night potty break. Beckett pulled down the skirt of the gray dress that had ridden up and Castle attempted to smooth his tousled hair.

"Don't mind me," she said as she traded places with them; her entering the elevator as they exited quickly. "Have a good night dear," the older woman sang to Kate as the door closed.

He teased her as they walked the rest of the way to her door, "Beckett you need to start conducting yourself more appropriately in public. What would Captain Gates say if you got arrested for indecent behavior?"

She turned around and shot him a _look_. It was one he had seen before and usually meant he should shut up. Kate entered the apartment before him and replied, "well, you better stop being so desirable then," as she sauntered into her living room. Rick stopped in his tracks on the entry rug, speechless.

He had a feeling there was so much more he would come to love about her as they started this new phase of their relationship. Castle wanted to know everything about her, his curious nature excited to learn all the things he could never ask before. All her dreams and desires. Everything that made her happy. She was still a mystery. He wanted to be spend every day making her smile and feel loved. _She_ was already surpassing all of his hopes.

"You comin' Castle?" she called casually. Oh, she knew exactly what she was doing to him. Finally stirred from his thinking he called back "yeah, coming!" He stepped passed the heels she had abandoned by the door and took his own shoes off. He felt comfortable here, even though he had only come a handful of times. He thought it was probably because it felt like her. It was cozy, eclectic, full of thought provoking artwork and smelled like vanilla. And...coffee.

Yes, coffee. They were going talk.

"Need some help in here?" he asked walking to meet her in the kitchen.

"Could you get the mug on the top shelf for me?" With her feet bare, she couldn't quite reach it. He came up behind her, crowding her into the cabinet. With one arm by her side bracing himself on the counter, he reached up for the ceramic mug with the other hand.

"Um, thank-thank you," she said. Her reply was delayed as she was distracted by the hand that moving her hair away from her neck. Rick then leaned in and pressed his lips to the soft skin below her ear. She couldn't help the shiver that overcame her.

He continued his momentum by bringing his hands around her to lay low on her stomach. She felt her body coil with heat and tension and a hum of pleasure escaped her throat. His hands tightened around her. Kate encouraged him to continue by tipping her head to the side so he could have more access to her skin. He ran his lips over every inch he could reach, pressing his responding body into her back.

Releasing a breath he said "Kate, you are so beautiful. And soft, mmmm, so soft." After a pause he added, "and hot, really hot." His deepened voice sent ripples of desire coursing through her body. He let his head rest at the curve of her neck where he had been kissing her. She could feel the smile of his lips.

She lightly rubbed her fingers against his hands. They were still clasped at her belly, and responded with a smile of her own, "you're not so bad yourself Castle."

Kate couldn't help but notice how natural this felt. Touching him, being in the same space so intimately. They were still _them_. Castle bantering with her and making her smile. Any awkwardness she at one time thought could occur was non-existent. He was still her best friend, but now he was more. It felt so good. So right.

A minute or so passed before they spoke again. "So maybe we should have that talk," he whispered in her ear.

"I think we should."

He gave a nod. "I think I'll take that coffee now." He started to back away from her so she could pour the hot beverage and his body immediately protested. Rick wanted her in his arms, it was going to be difficult to keep his hands to himself. He took the cup she offered with both hands in an attempt to keep them busy.

He followed her to the couch where they sat a safe distance apart from each other and sipped their coffees.

 _Please don't hate me,_ she thought as she worked up the courage to say what she needed to get off her chest. She lied to him, had been lying to him and wanted to come clean. She didn't want to have any secrets come out later and destroy them.

Before she lost her nerve she said, "Castle, I need to tell you something." He watched her as she sat her mug down on the coffee table and began to wring her hands together. _She's nervous,_ he thought. He focused all attention on her but kept quiet and waited.

"I'm sorry."

* * *

So, I'm planning on one more chapter guys. I'll try to get it out soon!


	3. Chapter 3

When she didn't continue, worry took over. His writer's imagination quickly spun out of control, worst case scenarios filling his mind. Was she regretting her decision? Is she not ready? _No,_ he said to himself. _She wasn't going to say this was a mistake. She wants this. I can feel it._

Urging her to continue and trying to stay calm, he asked, "for what Kate? What's wrong?" His eyebrows knit together expressing his concern for her.

"I lied to you... I remember-I remember everything," her eyes sought his as she said it. They were full, round and pleading him to understand.

He shifted on the couch at her words searching for her meaning. "You remember...what-the shooting? Did your memory come back?"

"No, Castle, that's why I'm sorry," she inhaled deeply. "I'm so sorry. I remembered the whole time."

Silence filled the room as realization hit him and he sat back further into the couch, taking in this information. He looked up at the ceiling and slowly shook his head in contemplation. His mind raced with her confession and a tug of guilt spread through him, knowing he had also been keeping a secret. On the brink of starting this with her, of going all in, it could be over so soon. He would have to tell her, if he wants all of her, he'll need to be honest, give all of him and face whatever consequences arise.

Time stood still waiting for his reaction. She could feel her pulse racing in her throat, nerves taking over. Now that she had started to open her heart to him, it felt so essential to have his forgiveness and understanding.

It felt like hours passed in that moment before he quietly asked, "so you heard me? You heard what I said to you?"

Taking in a deep breath she answered, "yes. I heard you," she confessed glancing to his eyes before looking down at her hands shame filling her insides.

"When you left me _alone_ all summer. You knew how I felt? You knew that I-," he paused, "that I _loved_ you and still let me suffer that whole time? Worrying about you, missing you?" He was hurt and though he didn't yell, pain came across in his voice.

"Rick," she said reaching for his hand but instead meeting the couch as he stood. She brought her rejected hand back to her lap but continued to try and explain. "I was so messed up, so confused at the time and scared. I had a bullet go through my chest. Someone was out to kill me."

She felt tears gather in her eyes with regret over hurting him and worry that they wouldn't get past this. Oh, how she wanted them to move past it, to move forward together.

"And I was scared you'd be in danger, that they would go after you. You tried to jumped in front of me; you could have been shot. I...I don't know what I would have done if something happened to you. I can't, Rick-I can't lose you too." She stood and reached for his hand and this time he let her take it and twine her fingers with his.

"I needed to work through things. I never wanted to hurt you. This is why I've been seeing my therapist. I wanted to be...I want to be more, for you."

He took in her words before asking, "you were seeing a therapist?"

"Yeah, I wanted to put in the time; work things out in my head."

He sighed and reached for her other hand, needing to be close and willing her to understand. He may still be upset by her omission, her lie, but he would not jeopardize this chance at being with her. He wouldn't risk losing her over it.

"I'm not going to lie Kate, this-it hurts to hear all of this. But...I'm glad to know what you were feeling, what you were going through." His hands traveled upwards stroking her arms as he continued. "I want you to know that _you_ have been _all_ I've wanted for a long time. I don't need or want you to be different or _more_ than you are. You are who I want. Just you."

With a small smile he added, "well, maybe we keep working on our communication though."

Just like that her tension and worry was gone. An unfallen tear finally broke free and rolled down her cheek as she closed her eyes in relief. Rick held her face in his hand and wiped her tear away with his thumb. She let the weight leave her body as she leaned into him and they embraced lovingly, her head resting on his chest, his arms surrounding her.

"I'm sorry," she said one more time. "Shhh...it's ok." He wanted to tell her, he had to tell her, now, _his_ secret and started to with, "Kate I…" but was cut off with the warm press of her delicate lips. The sweet kiss quickly growing in intensity and he tried to pull back but she persisted.

"Just kiss me Castle. _Please_." As they kissed he tasted salt from her tears and he couldn't stop himself. He had to give her this, what she wanted, what she needed; what he needed too.

She encouraged him backwards until the backs of his knees reached the edge of the couch and with her hands on his chest and tongue in his mouth, she pushed him to sit. Her mouth never leaving his as he did; she quickly followed, straddling his lap, her skirt bunching up, one leg on either side of his sinking down into him. His body responded immediately and she moaned in pleasure when she felt him, so close to where she wanted him.

She was determined, and he loved it except for the guilt that still sat in his gut. When she left his mouth with a smack of lips and began to trail her delicious tongue to the side of his neck, he tried again. "Kate, wait, I-I need to…." a moan escaped him, undermining his attempt at words as she hit the tender spot below his ear.

She looked up into his eyes, hers dark with desire and intent on her goal and with her best Beckett voice said, "stop talking Castle. Later, we'll talk later." Oh, how he secretly loved it when she bossed him around, and he obeyed as she proceeded to take his mouth again. Her hands busy opening the buttons of his white shirt; he gave in.

 _She'll understand. I was just trying to keep her safe. I love her._ Were his last thoughts on the subject as his body took over. He couldn't control himself any longer. She wanted him, _finally_ , and was here in his lap fulfilling every fantasy he'd ever had.

He was moved to action and led his hands around to roam her backside, drawing her in close, enjoying the feel of her under his hands. He wasn't going to last long, not this time, not after desiring her for so long. The way she was moving in his lap, and searching for breath, she wouldn't either.

"Oh, Kate…" rumbled out of his chest. Hearing her name coming out so deep and rough sent a wave of heat and need crashing through her belly to where they were brushing together, still clothed but so intimate.

He found the zipper to her dress and slowly lowered it, hand splayed wide and searching for her skin as he drank from her mouth. When the dress was loosened enough, he drew the front down and helped her detangle her arms, revealing her lacy black bra and her tiny waist to him.

She finished taking off his shirt and let her hands slide over his chest. Admiring his broad shoulders and tightened stomach muscles. "Umm, so this is what you've been hiding under all those button-downs…"

"Enjoy Beckett," he said with a tease before taking her mouth again, dueling with her tongue for a long drawn out minute. He then led his lips down to her neck kissing his way to her chest, hands bracketing her hips, keeping her close.

He slowed down when he reached just between her breasts, her heart, and paused. She knew why. She ran her hands through his hair, and caressed his head as he felt her scar with a tentative brush of his hand. Then he kissed it, slowly and gently feeling her heartbeat strong and thriving beneath his lips.

"I'm so glad you're here, I'm so glad you're alive Kate," he said feeling a rush of emotion come over him. He brought his head up and she looked deep into his sparkling eyes, "me too," she smiled.

She read his face, saw it radiating over him before the words escaped, "I love you Kate. I love you so much." Then he dove back into her welcoming mouth.

* * *

So, I hope you are all ok with this, but I think there will be one more chapter. The story has taken on a life of its own!


	4. Chapter 4

_She read his face, saw it radiating over him before the words escaped, "I love you Kate. I love you so much." Then he dove back into her welcoming mouth._

* * *

She awoke to his warm body curled up against her back, his arm draped across her side with his hand resting just below her breasts. He felt strong behind her, his chest providing comfort and a sense of security she wasn't used to feeling from a man. A smile spread wide on her face remembering the night before. Their haste to make it to her bed the cause of the bright sunlight streaming through the open curtains; there was no time to close them last night. One night with him and she was done for.

Castle stirred behind her, and drew her closer to him. He nuzzled his face to the back of her neck before kissing her exposed skin. "I like waking up with you," he said, voice still full of sleep but oh, so adorable. Pressing her backside into him she agreed, "me too, Castle. I also like all the things we did together last night."

"Mmmm, we should definitely go for another round," he replied, hands already wandering her skin, lighting the fire in her once again. "You may not have the best moves on the dance floor.."

"Hey!" she said interrupting with a playful swat to his arm.

"But…" he continued smirking, "wow, Kate, you were right, I had _no idea_."

"Well," she said turning onto her back so she could look up at his face, "there's more where that came from."

A moan escaped his mouth as they kissed deeply. Castle ran his hand up and down her thigh, her stomach, teasing the edge of her underwear, _the only thing she was wearing_. They thoroughly explored one another last night, after the first round. But it wasn't enough.

The fire between them only increased. Their desire for each other seeming to grow now that they had a taste of what it was like being together. He knew it would be good between them, but reality far exceeded his expectations. There was passion but also tenderness as their bodies met and loved each other for the first time. There would only be her from now on, only her.

* * *

After fully enjoying their morning love making, they fell asleep again for a short while before hunger woke her. It was later than she normally got up and her stomach was now protesting.

"Castle," she whispered her head lifting from his chest to run her fingers over it as he stirred slightly. "Rick, do you want to get some breakfast?" she said into his ear.

"No, you-mmm you could be my breakfast," he replied bringing her face to his lips, kissing her. "You are delicious."

"That's sweet Castle, but I'm going to need some actual food. Especially if you want me to keep my strength up…" she flirted back.

"Right, real food," he said perking up and imagining being joined with her again. "Ok, how about I make you some _pancakes…"_ he grinned and waggled his eyebrows up and down as his hand roamed the spot on her side below her ribs he found last night was ticklish. She laughed as she squirmed and swatted his hand away.

"Come on, let's eat," she pulled him up and he hugged her from behind as they walked together into the kitchen

He managed to find enough in her fridge to make pancakes with eggs and coffee. She insisted he didn't need to cook, but he seemed to delight in doing this for her. His attentive and giving nature always coming through.

They sat on the couch, using the coffee table to hold their drinks. Kate was cross-legged, wearing Castle's shirt from last night. He was in his boxers and undershirt. It was so domestic and comfortable, as if they did it every weekend and yet butterflies sprung up in her stomach when he leaned over to give her a bit of his pancake; which he had added chocolate syrup to. They ate in relative silence, quick glances being exchanged every couple of bites.

After they finished eating and cleaned up their plates, Castle grew contemplative and quiet. Both abnormal qualities for him.

"Hey, you ok?" she asked coming up to hug him from behind, bringing her arms around to rest on his stomach.

"Yeah, I'm fine." But after a pause he added, "Kate, there is something that I was trying to tell you last night. Something I think we should talk about."

At the serious tone of his voice she turned to face him. Concern furrowing her eyebrows, "ok, what did you want to talk about?" Not letting him begin she continued with, "Alexis? Is she-do you think she'll be ok with this, with us?" she asked trying to anticipate what he was going to say and all of a sudden concerned that Alexis would not be happy with their new relationship status.

"I think that Alexis will be fine with this. She'll be happy if she knows I am. I'll talk with her, but um, that's not what I wanted to talk about." She remained quiet waiting for him to continue, searching his face for the cause of his delay.

"Kate, I hope you can understand what I'm going to say, I mean I hope you know that it was out of concern for you." Hearing his words sent a rush of cold through her body and dread settled into her stomach.

"Castle, what are you talking about?" came out rushed, impatient, wanting to hear the full story behind his words.

He was nervous, worried that all the progress they had made since yesterday would be lost in this moment. He stood up and paced, as she sat on the edge of the couch attentive to his every movement.

"After you were shot, I got a call." He continued as her eyes bore into his. "Montgomery sent a package that contained information damaging to whoever is behind your mother's murder. It was supposed to keep you safe, but it got to him too late."

"Castle," she breathed out, heart racing in her chest, "what are you talking about? How do you know this?"

"They made a deal. You would be safe and the information wouldn't be released if you stopped working the case. Someone...someone had to keep you away from it. So that you'd be safe," he faltered at the end losing his confidence in his past decision not to tell her everything before.

"You were working with them? You, know who is behind her murder?" she said her voice raising with each question.

"Kate, no, no. I just tried to keep you safe, I just tried to get you to wait on pursuing the case. I wanted you to live. I wanted to protect you," he responded pleading her to understand his motives. "I don't know who it is, or who is behind this." He swallowed and continued, "we spoke once on the phone. Met in a dark room parking garage. But for now Kate, if you stay away from the case you'll be safe."

"Castle, this is my mother. My mother's case. I can't just leave it, especially if you have a lead that you were hiding from me this whole time!" She was angry and her face was stone cold when she looked at him. "I can't believe you betrayed me like this. I never would have expected this from you," she said shaking her head in disbelief. She stood, suddenly feeling overpowered and out of control of the situation. She used her detective training to try and gain a physical advantage. Standing tall and directly in front of him, she pulled her shirt closed to cover the cleavage that had been exposed, raised her head up high.

"Kate, I was afraid you would run straight at this information. I know you, you don't back down. I care about you, I love you, and I watched you die once in that ambulance. I can't do it again," he could feel the pricks of tears starting to form in his eyes and fought to keep them at bay. Just remembering her in that ambulance filled him with so much fear that it would happen again, that she'd go at this on her own and end up dead.

"Castle, you should have told me. It wasn't your decision to make." She looked down as she spoke, "I need you to leave."

"Kate, please, understand. Don't push me away…"

"I can't do this, I don't know what I was thinking…"

"Kate..." he said reaching for her.

She stepped back, away from him. "Castle, _please_. Leave." Her voice carried pain when she said it, but she was firm, crossing her arms over her chest. She wanted to be alone, she wanted him gone. This is why it took so long to open her heart to him in the first place. This fear of being hurt. She never expected to feel betrayal, not from him, but she did.

He stood a moment in shock before slowly walking into her bedroom. He put on his pants and gathered his keys and wallet. He stopped to look at her just before opening the door, but she was looking away. _Was she crying?_

"Please, Kate. We can work this out, we can work on the case to-"

"Stop, Castle. I can't do this. I can't talk with you now. Just go," she said, cutting his last plea off before he could finish.

He left, closing the door softly behind him. As soon as he was out of sight, she fell to the floor and uncontrollable sobs racked through her body. Her heart broke for her mother, the injustice that whoever had her killed was still free and powerful, calling the shots. It broke for Castle, their partnership and all the dreams she let herself have of a life with him, loving him. She felt that nothing would ever be the same. The happiness she started to feel had been trampled down, the light extinguished, drug into darkness.

He leaned against her door in the hallway and could hear her but was frozen in his spot. He knew she was in pain and wanted nothing more than to comfort her, to hold her, but he had been the cause of it. She had pushed him away. His heart was breaking as hers was and he didn't know what to do; how to fix it. After a few minutes it sounded as if her crying had subsided. Finally feeling that he could, he walked to the elevator trying to keep his own emotions in check.

After her body had expelled her heartache and exhaustion reached every fiber of her body she got up slowly, feeling like dead weight, and went into the bathroom. Urgently wanting his shirt off of her she stripped down. A long hot shower to cleanse her of the day, of her feelings is what she needed. It almost worked until images of showering with Castle filled her mind without permission.

In anger at herself she turned the water cold to shock the images out of her mind before stepping out and drying with a towel. She was a mess. Kate closed the curtains of the sun drenched bedroom windows that had woken them happily this morning, turned out the light, crawled into bed and willed the world to fade away.

He arrived home without remembering how he got there. Thoughts of her consuming his mind. His body yearned for hers, her closeness and the tenderness she had given him these last few hours. His heart broken with the thought that he would never get to love her again. That he ruined their chance. Doubts surrounded him. Had he made the wrong decision when he got that call? He should have told her everything earlier. This was her mom's case. _I'm such an idiot,_ he thought. Shaking his head Castle poured himself a large glass of whiskey and sat alone in his office staring into nothingness.

* * *

 _Do not fear, the next chapter is coming as soon as it will upload!_


	5. Chapter 5

Her phone rang a few hours later, buzzing and jumping on her nightstand. She was off today, had asked for it long ago knowing Ryan's wedding would be a late night. She had previously planned to catch up on sleep and laundry. _This better not be the precinct._

"Hello? Beck-Beckett" she finally got out, mind in a fog, not wanting to wake up.

"Hi Katie," her dad's calm voice came through the speaker with such warmth.

"Oh, hey dad," a yawn escaped as she sat up to lean against the headboard.

"Were you sleeping?" He asked incredulous noting the time of day.

"Um, yeah, late night, Ryan's wedding."

"I see. Well, I called because I haven't seen you in awhile. I was hoping to take my daughter to lunch."

She wasn't in the mood for company but thought that if she was with her father she for sure wouldn't keep thinking of all the things she could be doing with Castle right now.

"Sure dad. Meet you at the regular spot in 30 minutes?"

"See you there honey."

* * *

He must have fallen asleep or passed out, _no he wasn't that drunk,_ but he startled and spilled some of his drink when the front door closed loudly. Alexis had texted earlier that she would be spending the day with Paige. She had to tell her all about the gala and the _boy,_ from the night before, so he knew it wasn't her at the door.

"Richard!" Called a voice near the kitchen. His mother was apparently home. He had no desire to deal with her and stories of her night out. He attempted to quietly get up from his office chair and back into his bedroom but his shoe caught on the rug and he fell forward dropping and breaking the tumbler that had been in his hand.

"Oh, Richard darling whatever are you doing down there? And drinking so early in the day…".

"Hello mother," he said accepting her reproach and pulling himself up from the floor.

"You were out late, or should I say _early_ today. Did you go home with a _special_ _someone_ or just stay at the hotel?" She prodded, ever curious and involved, that was Martha Rogers.

"Mother, can we please talk later? I'm not really in the mood right now."

"Of course," she replied noting the dark circles under his eyes, his pants from yesterday and his half drunken state. _Something is wrong,_ this wasn't like him. "Why don't you go clean yourself up, I'll get the glass," she said with concern.

"Thanks," he mumbled on his way to his bedroom.

* * *

Jim hugged her tightly when she walked into the diner, happy to see her. He already had two cups of coffee waiting on the table, steam still wafting off the tops of them. He looked good, healthy and she was glad that he was still doing so well. If only she could say the same.

"Wow Katie, that must have been some wedding, you look exhausted," he said teasing.

"Gee thanks dad," she smirked back.

They fell into casual conversation and ordered their regular meals. They often came to this diner. It was between both of their homes and was casual with big, tall booths and comfort food. Finishing his BLT Jim assessed his daughter. She looked worn down, distracted today, not unlike when she had a difficult case but she had told him she had no such case now.

"Katie, why don't you tell me what's wrong?" He asked in his best _dad_ voice. Peering into her eyes.

He knew her so well. She should have known he would figure out something was wrong.

"Dad I'm fine, really."

"Not buying it," he replied plainly.

She closed her eyes momentarily as she decided how much she should share.

"Something's come up about mom's case…"

She told him about the phone call Castle received, all that he had kept from her, but left out the fact that they had finally gotten together. Still, he saw through her.

"Dad, I don't know what to do."

"Katie, ever since you were a little girl, you have been as stubborn as a horse." She shot him an exasperated glance. "It's actually something I really love about you. It makes you driven, you always reach your goals."

"But…" she said knowing it was coming.

"But, when you are so focused on just one thing, just one goal, you miss out on everything else that crosses your path."

She played with the edge of her napkin as he continued.

"Do you love him?"

"Dad!? What? Who? What do you mean…?"

"You know who, _Castle_. I've heard your stories about him. Castle this, Castle that. Heck, you talk about him all the time. And your face always lights up."

She felt herself blush but didn't deny it and he continued. "I lost the love of my life too soon." Kate sucked in a breath realizing where this was headed. "If she were here, if I could go back in time, I would take every opportunity to show her I loved her. I would apologize quicker, fight less, _make-up_ more…. If you love him, you should go to him."

He grabbed her hand from across the table and made sure he had her full attention. "Your mom loved you more than life Katie and she would want you to be happy, to live and love and be loved. Don't throw your life away. It won't bring her back,"

She had tears in her eyes listening to his words. He didn't often tell her what to do or push her with any agenda, so when he did, she listened. She took to heart his words as a man who lost his wife, the love of his life and the man who knew her mom the best.

"In time, you'll solve the case. I know you will, but you have to be alive to do it."

He squeezed her hand and stood to hug her.

"Love you dad."

"Love you too sweetie."

* * *

Castle went to shower as his mother had encouraged him to do. But with every layer of clothing he took off he couldn't help but think of her. He wanted her here, showering with him, removing his clothes, her hands soft on his skin as they had been that morning. He felt physically ill, whether from the whiskey or the torment of emotion swirling around his stomach; or both. He can't lose her, he can't not have her in his life. He only felt worse as he noticed the love bite she had left on his chest. He touched it remembering the moment before blasting the hot water and stepping into the shower.

He walked out of his bedroom quite some time later to find his mother reading on the couch in the living room. It was almost time for dinner and he hadn't even eaten lunch yet. His appetite had abandoned him.

"Feeling better?" she inquired looking up from her book.

"Not really."

"Richard, what's gotten into you? Is something wrong? Did something happen with _Katherine_?" she inquired knowing there was only one person who could affect him so much.

He sank into the couch and put his head in his hands. A long sigh escaping his mouth.

"I really messed things up this time."

He slowly shared with her that they had kissed, Kate had finally opened up to him. Martha had been home when he got the phone call. She knew about the mystery man and had encouraged him to tell Kate at the time. So when he shared that Kate didn't take the news well, she had made him leave, Martha rose to comfort him with a rub to his back.

"I love her mother. How do I fix this?"

"You told her how you feel? While she was _conscious_? You explained?"

"Yes. Of course."

"Then my dear, now you wait," she said matter of factually.

"What?"

"Wait for her. Let her process what you told her and wait for her to decide. If she feels the same way about you, she'll let you know."

"...and if she doesn't," he asked.

"Well, then you can start to work on getting over her."

He buried his face in his hands again. This was not the advice he wanted to hear. He was usually a man of action. But he knew gifts and persuasion would not work with Beckett, at least not this time. He had picked up his phone maybe a hundred times that day to call her, but had put it down instead, knowing she wouldn't answer, that his action would be in vain.

 _Well, OK then, I'll wait_ , he thought, knowing it wouldn't be easy. Not even a day had passed without her and he was already going crazy.

* * *

She walked home, deciding the fresh air would be good for her. Help clear her mind. Her father had given her a lot to think about. _Was she in love with Castle? Would she be able to put this aside and move forward? Leave her mom's case, at least for now?_

Whether consciously or not, she found herself at the gate to the cemetery where her mother was buried.

 _Mom._ She sat next to the tomb stone, dusting off the fallen leaves that had accumulated there. _Mom, what do I do? I don't-I don't want to let you down._ She thought silently. Tears escaping and falling down her cheeks.

Memories of her mom flooded her mind. Sweet moments together, days at the park and shopping. Getting in trouble for sneaking out of the house. One memory in particular stood out, a saying Johanna always had, " _Follow the truth Katie. When you're not sure, follow the truth."_

She'd heard her say it so many times, in so many situations, referring to her human rights cases, and life.

Kate thought of Castle. The truth was he had always been there for her. He put up the money to try and find her mother's killer years ago, wanting nothing in return. He helped her follow every lead that had come up and used his own resources to help look for clues. He went to see Raglan with her, kept her safe when Montgomery had been murdered and risked his life to try and save hers at the funeral.

This secret he had wasn't betrayal. She could see it now. It was love. Maybe he should have told her, but his motive was love. How could she fault him for loving her too much? That was the _truth._ It was also true that following the lead of the mystery man, her mother's case most likely would get her killed. And as her father pointed out, would not bring her mother back.

Peace settled over her then and fresh clarity. Sometimes she was so driven by the past that she neglected to see what was right in front of her.

 _Castle._ Her mom would have loved him, her favorite author. In a way it felt that she was bringing them together. "I love you mom," she said into the air, standing, new determination rising in her.

Mist from the clouds above began to darken the headstone and she took it as her cue to leave. She started walking, a smile growing on her face as the rain brought a kind of cleansing.

She picked up speed as the rain did, running, her heart pounding more from her excitement and anxiousness than the exercise. She was going to him. She had to see him, now. She had to fix this. Hopefully she wasn't too late.

* * *

A knock on the door a few hours later had him turning off the TV, he wasn't even watching and raising his head, preparing to stand. Martha beat him to it, opening the door as another knock started to fill the loft. _Geez someone is impatient,_ he thought, turning to see who was at the door.

"Katherine, darling, you're soaking wet," he heard his mother say as she ushered her in. "Come in, come in."

"Hi, Martha. Is-um, is Castle here?" her voice smaller, softer than usual.

"Yes, dear, on the sofa. Let me get you a towel," she walked to the closet quickly and retrieved a plush bath towel for her. "I'll just head out for dinner tonight," she said grabbing her purse and excusing herself quickly.

Her eyes met his from across the room. She was the last person he expected to be at the door and he remained motionless on the couch for far too long, watching her watch him. She ran the towel over her hair and body quickly as she walked towards him, her eyes never leaving his. She was soaking wet, he didn't even know it had been raining. She was breathtaking. Her hair had started to curl as she wrung out the excess water and her cheeks were pink, her eyes so large. Gorgeous did not begin to describe her.

He stood to meet her in the living room. "Kate," he breathed out and it was all he could manage. He wanted to reach for her, to hold her and kiss her but he was afraid he would scare her away. _She came,_ he thought.

"Castle," she began as he found his words too,

"I'm so sorry," they both said in unison.

"Oh, Kate," he said relief flooding him as he took her in his arms, feeling the wetness from her body transfer to his chest as he pressed her into him.

"Castle, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry for how I reacted," she told him, eyes passing from his down to his mouth before leaning in to kiss him. He responded immediately, pulse racing, tongues reaching, teeth nipping and lips soothing each other. She was here, she came and was back where she belonged, in his arms.

When they slowed down to tender, light presses of their lips, Castle brushed his nose against hers and stroked her face with his hand. She leaned into it, absorbing his warmth, needing his touch. When their foreheads kissed he spoke again, "Let's get you out of these wet clothes. You're going to ruin my hardwood floors," he teased with a gentle smile and a peck to her lips.

He held her hand, not wanting to separate from her, and led her to his bedroom and she took it all in. It had a masculine but not bachelor feel to it. Pictures of him and Alexis graced the dresser. Warm, rich colors in the comforter of his king sized bed and tall curtains filling the space on each side. It was different from her style but felt comfortable, it felt like him.

"Castle," she began as he pulled out a robe, far too big for her, and offered it to her.

"I can put your clothes in the dryer for you if you want to wear this while you wait."

"Hmmm, I don't think I'll need the robe…" she smiled brightly at him.

"I like the idea of that," he said, wrapping his arms around her waist.

"Castle," she said more serious now, needing to get the words out. "I want you to know I realize now why you kept that information from me. I know you didn't want to see me hurt."

He studied her face, saw her seriousness and took a step back so they could see each other as she continued.

"But, if this is going to work, if _we_ are going to work we need to stop with the secrets."

"Agreed," he said nodding. "Kate, are you going to go after this, knowing your life is at risk?" he asked fearing her answer but needing to know.

"No," she replied and his shoulders that had been raised with tension released in relief. "I talked with my dad today. He helped me realize some things about myself, my mom. I need to get justice for her Castle, but for now we wait. We wait until the right lead comes, or until they mess up and then we take them down, with backup, the right way. Together."

"Jim is a wise man," he smiled. "I'm so happy to hear this Kate. We will get them, I know we will."

She let him kiss her then, deeply, lovingly, pouring out all of his hopes into her. Realizing she was still wet from the rain, he pulled her shirt over her head, helped her with her pants and they laughed together at the difficulty of them being stuck to her. Giggling in between their kisses. The robe indeed would not be needed now.

"I finally get to see your room, and your bed," Kate said walking with him and letting the edge of his soft comforter brush against her legs. She lifted his shirt over his head as he worked on his pants.

"Come anytime, Kate. You never have to leave unless you want to," his eyes full of sincerity. She knew he meant every word. He never wanted her to leave and would ask her to move in today if he didn't think she would panic.

"I'll keep that in mind," she smiled and kissed him again, pulling him down on top of her onto the bed, enjoying the weight of him. He brushed the hair back from her face, taking all of her in. She ran a hand over the side of his face, tenderly and caressed his lip with her thumb as the words spilled out, now so certain, "I love you, Rick." His eyes lit up like never before, beaming at her revelation, not expecting to hear the words from her yet. "Kate, I love you, too. With all my heart."

She knew it was too early to talk about proposals or weddings but in her heart she _knew_. He was the one. Her _always_. He would forever be her plus one.

* * *

So we end here. I hope you have enjoyed reading this as much as I did writing it. Thank you so much for all who left reviews and liked the story. Reviews really do encourage more writing! Thank you.


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